I was irked by the fact that a young
woman whom I know personally was bragging about being “Independent!” Give me a
break! There’s a difference between working for everything you own and living
off your spouse’s hard work. That is
not independence; that is being fortunate.
Ladies, it’s great that you can brag about what you have, and flaunt what
you wear, drive and where you live. But spare us the melodrama. If you know you
didn’t go out there and formed sweat on your brows performing tasks at which
you earn an honest salary to acquire the possessions you claim to own, then
you’re not independent.
Now, I’m not bashing the women who feel
they deserve the royal treatment they
receive from their men, I’m just asking them to reconsider the bile that comes
from their lips as they utter the word “Independence.”
To be independent according to the Oxford Dictionary means “Not depending on another for livelihood or sustenance.” So as long
as you are not the source of your own income and resources, I hate to break it
to you, but you’re in fact dependent.
I know quite a number of women who
engage in this kind of lifestyle, where their only job is to keep fit and sexy
and stay beautiful, but I have one story to share with you. Sadly, there are other women
in this particular position who have a similar story to share.
Dania came by to visit me. I haven’t
seen Dania since she moved out to live with her wealthy boyfriend who happened
to be the owner of an exquisite restaurant uptown. She sat down very ladylike with her Gucci purse
nestled under her arm; her shiny Samsung Galaxy S4 glistened from her
waistband. Her Fendi glasses completely covered half of her slender face, hence
the shock I had when she removed the exquisite frames from her eyes. Black,
blue and purple decorated the corner of her left eye. She asked me quietly not
to ask anything, and asked me to just listen.
*The story is retold in Jamaican
English. This is her story:
“You
know I always admire you. You always work for what you want, and I used to
laugh at you and tell you to find a rich man before you break your back. I was
so happy when I met Daryll, and thought you were jealous of me. Him give me
everything I want when I was living with mama, and when he asked me to move in
with him, mama was happy for me. I was happy too, because I now had everything
I could possibly ask for. I remember when you ask if I wasn’t gonna finish
school and I laughed at you and asked why you ask such a stupid question.
At
first, everything was good. I had a helper, so I didn’t have to do nothing.
Daryll just wanted me to stay sexy and keep looking good. One night, about 2
months after I move in with him, he asked me to attend a function; so he took
me shopping, we selected a dress, and accessories to go with it. That same night when I got
dressed, he said the dress look too sexy and ask why my breasts looked so big in the dress.
He said I was trying to look sexy for his friends and slapped me in my face. He told
me to go change it and fix my face.
Jodi,
almost everyday after that him beat me. I ask him if I can go look for work because I'm bored of staying home everyday, he
said his woman will not work, I’m just supposed to look “clean” all the time.
When I got pregnant, I didn’t tell him yet, because I wasn’t sure if he’d be
happy. He noticed the little weight I put on and him beat me. Mi lose the baby
and him not even care. I just come to ask you what I must do, cause I can’t
take the beating no more…”
Before she went back into her Audi SUV,
I advised her to walk away from the luxury she had, and try to go back to
school. I knew it was hard for her to hear that, but the truth is the truth.
Dania never came back to visit, but we keep in touch via Facebook. She is still
with Daryll, but she assures me she is doing a course in the evenings to complete her degree in accounting, her passion. While it’s not the way I wish for her to
go, it is a step in the right direction. Wealth and fame are not worth your
dignity. Ladies, you are worth more than a fancy car and an empty mansion. Learn
the meaning of independence and make it motivate you to hunger for acquiring your own things! And the best part is, you won't have to answer to anybody. Make a name for yourself! The struggle may be long and hard, but when you look back at your handiwork, you'll know it was well worth it. I am your JGIC! <3
“How
wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather
than to create it herself.” ~ Anaïs Nin
Jodi-Ann
is an Environmental Studies major in Nova Scotia, Canada.
***Disclaimer: Pictures acquired from Google
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